The Treasury Secretary of the United States — the man who's supposed to understand global energy markets better than anyone on the planet — stood at a White House podium today and said "Straits of Vermouth."
Not the Strait of Hormuz. The Strait of Vermouth.
As in the thing you pour into a martini.
The full quote — because you deserve to hear this in all its glory:
"The Straits of Vermouth have not been completely reopened, so we will see, and I'm optimistic that during the summer, we will see gas with a three in front of it, sooner rather than later."
This man was asked about gas prices — which are at record highs because of the Iran war his boss started — and he confused the most strategically important waterway on Earth with a cocktail ingredient.
And it wasn't even close. Hormuz. Vermouth. Those aren't similar words. You don't accidentally swap them unless you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about — or you've already had a few.
This Is the Man Running Your Economy
Scott Bessent is the United States Treasury Secretary. That's not a ceremonial title. He's supposed to be the person who explains how the economy works to a president who doesn't read briefings.
The Strait of Hormuz is a narrow channel between Iran and Oman. Roughly 20% of the world's petroleum passes through it daily. Iran has been using it as a chokepoint to slow tanker traffic and spike oil prices since the war started. It's the reason gas is at record levels. It's the reason you're paying $5, $6, $7 at the pump right now.
And the Treasury Secretary doesn't know its name.
This isn't a gotcha. This isn't a pronunciation thing. This is a grown man responsible for the financial stability of 330 million people who apparently doesn't know the name of the single most important geographic feature driving the economic crisis he was literally at the podium trying to explain.
Let that shit sit for a second.
Then the DNC Went and Made It Art
The Democratic National Committee's official X account picked up the clip immediately. But they didn't just mock Bessent.
They reposted the video alongside a photo of Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth — with one word:
"Vermouth?"
One word. Two cabinet members. Absolute destruction.
Because if you know anything about Pete Hegseth — and at this point, how could you not — the vermouth reference hits different.
Hegseth's "Checkered History" With Alcohol — and That's Putting It Politely
During Hegseth's confirmation to be Trump's Secretary of Defense, NBC News reported that his former Fox News colleagues were regularly concerned about his drinking. They smelled booze on his breath before he went on air.
Let that sink in. The man co-hosting a morning show on a major cable network was showing up to work smelling like last night's bar tab.
His co-workers had to call him before shifts to make sure he didn't oversleep from partying the night before. That's not a rumor. That's sourced reporting from people who worked next to him.
But it gets better. The New Yorker found a whistleblower from Hegseth's prior employer — a nonprofit called Concerned Veterans for America — who described him as "frequently intoxicated on the job." And not just a little. They said he occasionally had to be carried out of official events.
Carried. Out.
This is the Secretary of Defense of the United States of America.
And the DNC — with one word, "Vermouth?" — connected both of these men, both of these disasters, in a single post. Bessent's verbal slip directly into Hegseth's well-documented relationship with alcohol.
That's not trolling. That's a masterclass.
These People Are Running a Government During a War
This is what pisses me off beyond the laughing. Beyond the jokes. Beyond how truly, genuinely, historically stupid "Straits of Vermouth" is as a sentence that a Treasury Secretary said out loud on live television.
These people are running a government. During a war. With Iran. A war that has sent oil past $100 a barrel, killed American servicemembers, collapsed a ceasefire, and turned the actual Strait of Hormuz — the one Bessent can't name — into one of the most dangerous waterways on Earth.
And the guy in charge of explaining the economic fallout doesn't know what it's called.
And the guy in charge of the military had to be carried out of events because he was too drunk to stand.
These are Trump's "best people." The people he personally selected. The ones the Senate confirmed. The ones running your government right now.
It would be funny if it weren't so absolutely, devastatingly, unforgivably dangerous.
The Education Problem Nobody Wants to Say Out Loud
Here's what I keep coming back to. These MAGA Republicans — the ones in charge, the ones in Congress, the ones on TV — they are not just wrong about policy. They are fundamentally, provably, embarrassingly uneducated about the shit they're making decisions on.
Bessent didn't know the name. Hegseth can't stay sober through a conference. The president says "I don't care" about peace talks. They don't read the briefings. They don't know the geography. They can't even pronounce the names of the places they're bombing.
And yet they strut around like they're the smartest people in the room.
They're not. They never were. And today, on live television, the Treasury Secretary proved it with two words that will never stop being funny:
"Straits of Vermouth."
Bottom Line
Scott Bessent stood at the White House podium, got asked about gas prices, and said "Straits of Vermouth" instead of Strait of Hormuz. The DNC immediately posted a one-word reply — "Vermouth?" — with a photo of Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of Defense who's been documented as frequently intoxicated on the job and had to be carried out of events.
One post. Two cabinet members. Both humiliated. Both deserving of every goddamn second of it.
These are the people running your country. During a war. And they can't name the strait or stay standing at a conference.
This is the MAGA brain trust. And it is exactly as fucking stupid as it looks.
← Back to rants